Show dog like a boarding school kid

I soon learned that having a show dog is like having a kid in boarding school. You are constantly required to send money and equipment, but you rarely see your offspring. When she comes home she usually needs grooming and she claims not to know who you are. She wants to parade around the kitchen and be applauded. She doesn’t want to mess her coiffure by wrestling with you on the floor or muck up her smile fetching sticks. She is, in short, a snob. All the ribbons she’s won have gone to her head.

Erica Jong, “A Woman’s Best Friend,” in The Editors of the Bark, eds., Dog Is My Co-Pilot (New York: Three-Rivers Press, 2003), p.53